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My Heart Never Majored In Logic

By Jessica Karpinske

THU DEC 20, 2018

Some nights I lie awake trying to work out answers for the most complex story problems.  These story problems are different though.  They are not like the ones we used to solve for grade school math assignments.  The issue I always run across with the story problems I'm trying to solve is that there's never one answer.  That's because stories of the heart don't make sense.

Just when I think I know the answer, the universe starts yelling at me to WAKE UP, PAY ATTENTION.  Like I was daydreaming in class again...life's class...daydreaming in life...again.

The answers are infinite.  See, there's no answer key for these stories and problems of the heart.  We make up the key as we go through life.  And no matter how quiet the world becomes in those wee hours of the night, the answers still aren't logical.

Like...

...1+1 no longer = 2, but always = something new...

...the only thing moving is stable...

...attachment = suffering...

...that the center is the place that lies between emotional and logical...

...my brain holds the key to the logical answer, but my heart refuses to let go...

There are so many ways to work these problems. The answer changes depending on the day.  But every way I work it, I realize in the end our language isn't the same.  Even though we speak what seems like the same language, it's still too different and the meaning of  words gets lost in translation.

See, my heart never took logic in school.  I'm certain if it did, it would be the only class I ever failed.  My heart never took logic, so when your actions and words don't match the meaning gets lost in translation and my heart...that always gets in trouble for daydreaming in life...gets stabbed with that dull pencil...again.  If I'd only quit daydreaming and paid attention...I hate those dull pencils, but I love to daydream...

This is why sometimes I lie awake trying to solve the hearts story problems because after all this practice and all these years of my life, I can't figure out how at the end of this story problem, we still got different answers.

At least credit is always given for showing the work.  The time is never wasted and I guess once I solve this one, I'll move on to another that will likely be equally perplexing.

I have found the one thing that seems to remain a common denominator in each of these story problems is this...  Actions always speak louder than words.  So aligning actions with words is always a good starting point.

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"What you say is more important than how you say it.  What you do is more important than what you say.  And what you build is more important than what you do, so what you gonna build today?" 

~Kyle "Guante" Tran Myhre